I Wish I Could Have Done More

Recently I sat down at a coffee house in a town I won't name. My attention was drawn to the lady in the corner who had her head down on the table and her shoes kicked off. When she did lift up her head, her eyes were sunken back in her head. Her clothes were nice, and she seemed very clean. Her expression and body language said she was in distress. She also had several bags with her, as if she didn't have a permanent home. I knew something wasn't well with her.

As I finished up my brunch meeting, I approached this lady with caution. I've been burned badly in the past trying to help those in need. Lately, I've tried to be very discerning of those I lend a hand to. This day, I couldn't walk away. I felt compelled to see what this lady's story was.

I learned her name was Awo, and, through broken English, I learned she was from West Africa and she was hungry. Her communication barrier seemed to be causing her issues with the local public transportation routes. Admittedly, when I looked at the bus route brochure, I couldn't figure it out either. I had another meeting to get to, so I bought her some food, and asked her if I could pray with her. She seemed very grateful. I gave her my phone number (since she could text better than she could talk) and told her I'd come back by later to check on her.

I found out she could dial #211, and there was a shelter 10 minutes away she could go to for assistance. They feed you two solid meals a day and provide a bed at night. I texted her this information.

When I returned she was still there. I asked her if she had dialed 211, but she said she couldn't understand what the operator was saying. She was finishing up some lunch someone purchased for her. I tried to get to know a little more about her this time around. She said she was a mother of four children, and lived nearby. She couldn't walk home because she had so many bags. I asked her if she wanted to go home. She said, "yes," and gave me her address. I called her a Lyft car, and for a moment she seemed relieved, as did I. I felt like I had done by good deed for the day, helping this sweet lady get home safe.

However, when the car arrived, I helped her carry her bags out to the car and she refused to get in. She said she would only get in the car if he would take her to a neighboring town. Her eyes suddenly filled with terror. She was petrified to go home. Or, perhaps she was petrified of a male driver. I hadn't thought of that.

The driver told her he could only take her to the address entered. I'm not sure she she completely understood. I didn't have time to stand there and argue with her, and the driver couldn't wait forever, so eventually, I just handed her $20 and pointed to the bus stop, encouraging her to use the money to go where she wanted to go. She hugged me and thanked me, and told me thank you for praying.

I hated to leave her standing there, but I had to get back to work. I could tell she was ashamed, and that was not my intention. I just didn't know what else to do. I had pointed her to several solutions, and she had rejected them all.

I hope things worked out okay for her. She did text me later and said, "THANK YOU FOR EVERYTHING."

I replied, "You're welcome. I wish I could've done more."

I wish I could've done more. Those words repeated inside my mind for hours.

I had given her the address to a shelter, where they had agreed to take her in. And, it's not just any shelter. It's a really nice one. I had given her a phone number to call. I had even ordered her a Lyft driver to take her to the shelter or to the address she provided me. But, no matter what I did, those were not the answers she was looking for. Even though I wanted to take her somewhere nice, and safe, she had other ideas in mind.

Maybe she was afraid to go home. Maybe she was running away from something. Maybe she had been traumatized and abused at shelters in the past and didn't want to return. All I knew was she was looking at nights alone on a cold street, and I was offering her safety and comfort. Yet, I couldn't make her get in the car.

I couldn't make her get in the car because she had another direction in mind. She had her reasons, I'm sure. Our language barrier issues did not help things. I tried to think the best of her. I am not bitter at her for not accepting my help. Sometimes I go on these little trecks to learn something for myself.

This time, I was reminded ...

How many times has God looked at our lives and thought, "I wish I could've done more..."

How many times does God want to lead us into a safe job, town, relationship, etc. BUT, we reject it because we have other plans in mind? Or, because we're not communicating well with Father? Or, understanding the messages Father is sending us? Or, because we've had bad experiences in the past?

God brings us provision, safety and love inside of a relationship with Him, and even brings us a "car" to take us there. Yet, we refuse to get in the car and trust Him.

This Christmas, I encourage you to lay down your own ideas of what you think your life should look like, and what direction you should be headed, and simply accept your Father's best path for you. It might seem terrifying and shaky, but just like I would've moved mountains to help that woman in need... Father will move mountains to carry you to your safe place He's prepared for you. It may not make logical sense in the natural, at times, but you can trust Him. Take a leap of faith. He's got this.