Melvin

“Brace yourself for Melvin!” says the lead tagline for the 1997 Oscar winning movie, As Good As It Gets.

Melvin Udall, the lead role in the film and played by Oscar-winner Jack Nicholson, is introduced to the audience as a character made of part refined intelligence, part sandpaper.

Jack Nicholson knows how to play abrasive and Udall is abrasive.

A writer suffering from Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD), Udall has his daily life planned in a routine he never breaks. His world unravels, however, when the people his life hinges on become, well, unpredictable. Nicholson’s character is then forced to evaluate his life and is unhappy with what he finds.

Without routine, his life is miserable, and he’s forced to ask the question we all probably ask at some point in our lives:

“What if this is really as good as it gets?”

Is the purpose of life merely to survive all the chaos, go through the motions, and eventually die? Perhaps the question we should ask ourselves is “not will we die, but will we really ever truly live?,” says inspirational author Kris Vallotton.

“The real tragedy is not that so many are dying, but that millions are living without purpose. Many have lost sight of what we are fighting for.”

How does one find purpose?

It’s simple.

Find someone to love.

Venture outside of yourself to be more than who you are, so you can be all they need you to be.

Udall spends his life alone and unloved in this movie, preferring his OCD routine over real relationships. He didn’t care for people, and was often callous towards the needs of those around him.

He does befriend a waitress, Carol, but not out of want-to. He does it out of necessity to feed his compulsive behavior. Life surprises him, though, when he finds he actually wants her.

Unfortunately, years of being alone had left him emotionally dysfunctional, and he’s a failure at communicating. He attempts to build a relationship with her, but finds himself hurting Carol’s feelings many times, bringing her to a boiling point. She had enough of his gruff nature, eventually, and attempts to walk out on him.

At this point in the movie, all seems lost for Udall. He finally found a reason to live, but was about to lose it because he would not change. Suddenly, something rose in him. A fight was born. He begs Carol to stay, stalling her departure long enough to come up with a potential apology.

She agrees to hear him out, but only on one condition: He must do something he’s never done before: Give her a sincere compliment. Udall agrees to try, squirming and enduring much trepidation in meeting her challenge. Finally, he musters up maybe the most painfully sincere line written in cinema history:

“You make me want to be a better man.”

Udall found a relationship worth fighting for, a purpose greater than his awful nature, and it drove him to do the impossible. He changed his bad behavior and convinced his love to stay.

Udall’s fight, his purpose, rose effortlessly in him because he had found love.

You never have to tell a parent to fight for his child, a soldier to fight for his brother, or a lover to fight for his soul mate. Love is the fertilizer and the rain for purpose.

Life will always have its ups and downs. People come into your life in a flash, and sometimes leave just as unexpectedly. But, the awesome thing about this life is, you never run out of people!

“You cannot succeed alone,” says famed author and speaker, Paula White. “Relationship is a privilege and the golden link to every uncommon miracle and ... joy in your life.”

Purpose really can be redefined by the simple decision to love another more than we love ourselves. Life is better when shared with good company. Even if you’re okay with being alone, maybe someone out there isn’t and could use a friend like you.

There lies your purpose.

Find it.

-- Based on the 1997 movie, As Good As It Gets

-- By Casey (Hutcheson) Hendrix, Written for The Telfair Enterprise in 2012